sweet little experiment

Reblogging this one today! Enjoy! 

I was not prepared for motherhood.

Now don’t get me wrong, I did read a decent amount of books on pregnancy and whole birth. I attended prenatal classes and breastfeeding classes. But all in all I think it’s pretty safe to say that nothing can really prepare you for motherhood besides motherhood itself. Yep, you gotta be in it to know it. In it to win it. Or in it to navigate through a system of trial and error, ups and downs, jubilation and frustration, invigoration and exhaustion- the list goes on and on.

I think most parents experience some ineptitude when it comes to the reality of raising children. At the hospital, I remember feeling apprehensive to the fact that they were allowing Nick and I to take our 6lb. 12oz, baby girl home. Handing us this precious little angel and saying: She’s beautiful. Good luck and goodbye.

The first thing I thought was: Oh, Holy Lord. I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing. 

Let me better explain myself. You see, when Ella was inside me I had everything figured out. Her schedule, my schedule, sleep time, feed time, playtime, potty time. If I remember correctly, I think I even had a list of do’s and don’ts plastered on our kitchen wall. I was extremely organized and the house was really freaking clean. Nesting sure got the best of me in my ninth month! The nursery was stunning, but practical. We did every thing in neutral since we chose not to find out her sex. Tiny clothes were all neatly folded and put in their proper place. Piles of baby booties and teeny hats aligned perfectly on the shelf. I had every thingamabob baby item you could think of. Most of which I would come to find out would never get opened, let alone used. That’s okay though because they were a piece of the pregnancy puzzle and my puzzle was almost complete. I reveled in the thought of perfection.

Then I had her. She was the most beautiful, innocent, precious soul. My heart was overflowing with love. Best of all, she was mine! Then we took her home. And within an instant, all of my scheduling and planning and organizing pretty much went to hell.

Schedule? What schedule? This baby eats when she wants, sleeps when she wants, and poops all of the time.

I was introduced to “poop up the back.” Um hello, no one ever told me about that. Surprise! It’s disgusting.

Laundry piled up.

Diapers everywhere.

My breasts hanging out all day long.

Nursing. Nursing. Nursing. And nursing.

Pumping. Storing. Pumping. Storing.

Glass of wine.

Pumping. Dumping.

Changing. Rocking. Changing. Rocking.

I was in a constant fog. We were up all hours of the night for days and weeks and months on end.

Our first trip to the pediatrician’s office and we left her diaper bag at home. Yeah, you heard that right. Not in the waiting room, not in the car. AT HOME. Who does that? The nurse was looking at us like we were two brainless idiots. I was looking at Nick thinking:

How the hell could you forget the diaper bag??!! I had the baby. I remembered her. 

Oh motherhood. With its winding roads. You never really know what’s around the corner or behind door number one..or two..or three for that matter. You never really know what to expect or what you’ll forget. What kind of baby you’ll have or what kind of mother you’ll be.

And thus begins our lifelong…

sweet little BIG experiment.

Mass Media: An Unreliable Source?

A new Gallup Poll out last week reported that 60% of Americans have little or no trust in the mass media to report the news fully, accurately, and fairly.

I have been a skeptic of mainstream news for quite some time now and I was hoping to see the percentage even higher than 60%. More in the range of 80-90%! And here’s why:

Back in 1983, approximately 50 corporations owned the vast majority of all news media in the United States.

(Graph courtesy of Media Reform Information)

Presently, mainstream news media including but not limited to newspapers, magazines, television, and radio has been concentrated in the hands of just six powerful media corporations. Yes, SIX corporations. Six corporations control most of what we watch, read, and hear every single day. Scary, huh? These billion dollar companies own not just our television networks and magazines, but movie studios, publishing houses, music labels, and internet websites.

In 1983, fifty corporations dominated most of every mass medium and the biggest media merger in history was a $340 million deal. … [I]n 1987, the fifty companies had shrunk to twenty-nine. … [I]n 1990, the twenty-nine had shrunk to twenty-three. … [I]n 1997, the biggest firms numbered ten and involved the $19 billion Disney-ABC deal, at the time the biggest media merger ever. … [In 2000] AOL Time Warner’s $350 billion merged corporation [was] more than 1,000 times larger [than the biggest deal of 1983].

–Ben H. Bagdikian, The Media Monopoly, Sixth Edition, (Beacon Press, 2000), pp. xx—xxi

The six media giants: Time Warner, Walt Disney, Viacom, Rupert Murdoch’s News Corporation, CBS Corporation, and NBC Universal (Comcast 51%, GE 49%). Their objective? To make money. Not to report truth to the American public. They are not going to threaten their relationships with their big money advertisers such as the pharmaceutical companies who ironically spend more on advertising (BILLIONS) than on research and development. Seriously! Similarly, they are not going to compromise their own political views (think FOX News, CNN, and MSNBC) or their love for war (GE is ranked a top military contractor) and fear-mongering. Oh Brian Williams, you talking head you. 

Fortunately, more and more people are realizing that mainstream news is bought and paid for. I for one, couldn’t be happier. The original title of this post was called, “Mass Media is Full of Shit.”

Further Reading:

The Military-Industrial-Media Complex
Why war is covered from the warriors’ perspective
By Norman Solomon

Five Things I’ve Learned About My Pre-Schooler This Week

Ethen started pre-k this week and after only three days in I’ve learned some interesting facts about my little boy:

1. He will actually lie down and nap during the day. Pre-K must be mucho exhausting for Ethen. Today his teacher informed me that they have to wake him up after rest time. Who would have thought my little Ethen all curled up in the corner on his sleep mat snoring and drooling all over his make-shift pillow? He would never nap for me at home. Never. In. A. Million. Years. I mean why would he? You know, in his nice comfy bed and all?

2. He hangs out with kids named after a variety of dry pasta. According to E, the following kids sit at his table: Ethen (obviously), Evan, Laney, and Macaroni. Yes, Macaroni.

3.  He goes potty with the bathroom door open. Now this one he does do at home, but I figured at school he would at least close the door when he’s doing his business. (Note: The pre-k bathroom is across the hall from their classroom and apparently they are sent there unescorted.) Ella (my first grader) told me she was walking down the hall with her class when she saw Ethen sitting on the toilet with his pants down and the door wide open. Oh Lord! I just hope he washed his hands!

4. He will only eat yogurt at home. We’ve been having some debacles at lunch with the slightly fermented, semi-solid food. Needless to say, this has led to Ethen being deathly afraid of transporting and consuming yogurt anywhere outside the confines of his own home. We don’t even mention the word. We’ve started referring to it as “probiotic.” Even so, I think he might be catching on. Every time we say “probiotic,” I see him flinch a bit.

5. He kinda likes me more than daddy this week. (I’m not positively sure about this, but all signs are pointing in my favor.) Nick and I went together to pick him up from school yesterday and he ran straight into my arms like a bat outta hell. When I told him to give daddy a hug and a kiss, he perplexedly replied, “Daddy who?”

Where Did Everybody Go?

My week has been nutso. This morning I took a deep breath and looked around – Where did everybody go? Oh that’s right, school. Yep, school is back in session and I obviously forgot how to handle it. I must have hit my head pretty hard (without realizing it) because I feel completely crazy, unorganized, forgetful, and tired. My mind and body won’t let me get into the groove of having two little ones off in the world of academia.

My Ella is now a big shot first grader and she is loving every minute of it. Granted it’s only been about 72 hours since she took her first steps into the classroom. I’m sure I will be side-swiped in about a month when the novelty of having her own desk wears thin. Ethen is finally starting pre-school. Yesterday was “meet the teacher day” which only lasted an hour, and I honestly had to take his temperature when we returned home because he was so exhausted and lethargic I thought he had come down with some rare illness (bubonic plague?) during that 60 minute time span. Maybe it was the 5:30am wake-up and the 30 laps around the kitchen and living room earlier that morning screaming, “Today is my first day at pre-k! Today is my first day at pre-k!” that really did him in. He was a perfectly healthy 98.4 degrees. Turns out all he needed to remedy his tuckered out body was a cuddle from mommy, a sip of elderberry, and a scenic-route wagon ride. Works every time.

Needless to say, I haven’t remedied my own pooped-out-poopiness this week. I’m completely off-balance and drained. Anyone up for pulling a grown woman in a wagon this weekend? But seriously, I hope to get my ass on schedule for next week and be here every day writing more about my mommying adventures…and health and life and love…and the sanity craziness of it all. 

Much love mamas!